Somber

Revelations while sitting in the backseat for the first day of the drive:

1) iPad is coming with, if only for the ease of typing while on the trail. 
2) Dog is not impressed with sitting in the back seat for hours on end.
3) Nothing in life seems real to me. 

I suppose I'll address the latter, as it will cause the most alarm with my readers.

I've struggled with depression over the past year, including bouts of suicidal ideations. and I can only imagine that the two are inextricably linked. How else can one feel when life is consistently lacking in both meaning and positivity - what is there really left to live for?

So as I sit here in the back of this vehicle, driving down to begin what many would consider one of the biggest adventure of their lives, I feel... nothing. No burgeoning excitement, no overflowing giddiness - I merely exist.

Perhaps that's why I'm drawn to hardship, pain, and conflict. In a life where little to nothing is felt, pain is something you can rely on.